Sunday, February 14, 2016

Maple Leafs, 49 and counting

In the February 14, 2016, edition of the Toronto Star, the writer pleads for suggestions how to improve the Toronto Maple Leafs, currently mired in the basement of the National Hockey League. My reply:

Sorry, I can't tell you how to improve the Leafs. I have a suggestion how to help make the viewing experience somewhat less painful.

But first, an observation. Why should the Leaf organization spend real money for real players and coaches when every seat in the place is already sold? Harold Ballard knew that economic fact and acted accordingly. Hey, that's business.

Second observation. NHL bosses (the American ones who run the league) are delighted at the current situation -- no Canadian teams in the playoffs. TV viewership in the U.S. declines when Canadian teams are involved, whatever the sport. All the American moguls want from Canada are players. Hey, that's business.

Now the suggestion. It's a Toronto cheer, a rough idea to be developed by some professional cheer leader. It goes: (Loud) T O (soft) r o n (boom, boom, loud) T O.  Or a variation : (boom, boom) T O, (boom, boom) T O (boom, boom) T O (boom boom, fading into the face off).  Of course, this can be used for any Toronto event, unless playing against Tokyo, Toledo et al. So let's get there first.

Full disclosure. My son and I stopped going to the games in the Maple Leaf Gardens days when I couldn't buy tickets at the wicket, while my regular scalper had a whole section of them.

Anyway, I wish the organization well, kind of, as they prepare another full-page ad of apology for their seven-squared year. It'll soon be a tradition as they enter their Golden Anniversary of Failure. In Roman numerals that's L. L for Leafs. Hey, that's show business, Lose one, Lose one.

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